Change Your World-NOT your Body

Friday, January 12, 2018

Stripping Butch Bunk WhiteWashed by STRAIGHTBIANS

Obviously this doesnt need to be said for any Lesbian readers, but for STRAIGHTBIANS (mentally/emotionally/sexually damaged Het Females) whose entire guiding light to lesbian is any two females (regardless of biology) bumping uglies.

A Lesbian reader of both myself and Mrs Dirt sent us this screencap from a STRAIGHTBIAN sub-tweeting pure unequivocal codswallop last year, while she was searching Twitter for Tweets about Butch Lesbians:

Interestingly and purely as an aside, we had another STRAIGHTBIAN more recently say something similar about us, even using the very same word (INFILTRATORS) to describe us:
Probably just one of those weird coinky-dinks surely, I mean who could be THAT dumb right??!!

Anywhoey, back to the sub-tweet the Lesbian reader sent us, this all too obviously Het female tweeter claimed that copious amounts of "women of colour" Butch Lesbians LOVED and still LOVE to STRIP for a sexually hungry audience. The Het female tweeter fighting a losing battle against Lesbians tries to unearth Lesbian biological certainties by trying to remove/render impuissant our (myself & Mrs Dirt's) input (as two white Lesbians) by reeling in an all too common Het female gambit:
There has NEVER been in the entire human history, a Butch Lesbian who prostituted herself (via stripping or any other sex for $$$ exchange) period, no matter what race. The colour of skin doesnt magically remove Lesbian biology/that which governs Lesbians, in this case Butches. A Butch wouldnt strip for a lover anymore than she would strip for a crowd. It isnt within the realm of possibility, because it isnt within the possibility of Butch Lesbian biology. Trees dont give birth to puppies and billy goats arent theorizing String Theory.

As Lesbians, we know we are far out numbered by STRAIGHTBIANS (mentally/emotionally/sexually damaged Het Females) and we cannot combat/refute every single Hetsplained Homophobic article, idea, book, movie, tv show etc, but we do hope where, when and those we do are useful in helping Lesbians now and future in navigating the harrowing waters of Heterosexuality in all its many wretched dysfunctions.



Monday, January 1, 2018

Sex and the STRAIGHTBIAN (Part 2) The Passion is Perversion

The flip side of the frigid/anti-sex/passion is political/eschewing sex and femininity STRAIGHTBIANS are the STRAIGHTBIANS who embrace sex with both arms and every orifice, LOVE sex sex sex, try anything once or twice sex Het women. In years past these STRAIGHTBIANS were on the opposite side of Radical Feminism; their feminist liberation was to be found, not in squatting over a mirror looking at their vaginas, BUT in using their vaginas to find power! They convinced themselves that through sadomasochism, where they could explore/control sexual proclivities (some of which were) derived from child sexual abuse, they could find the power robbed of them as girls/women.

Depending on if sexual abuse was suffered as a child, how long it occurred, how it was dealt with or ignored and natural temperament, determined each STRAIGHTBIAN'S role in BDSM. For some STRAIGHTBIANS that role may be as the submissive (many will co-opt (High/Femme/Bottom/Baby/Girl to imply that) for others that role will be as the dominant (many will co-opt Top/Butch/Daddy to imply that), and still others will play at a Daddy/boi/boy sex-play. A number of STRAIGHTBIANS who gravitate toward the dominant roles have/will also transition. This STRAIGHTBIAN type's pathology on cross sex hormones will often increase their warped sexual appetites as well as their sadism during sex scenes. This STRAIGHTBIAN type, despite the sheer fear and powerlessness they felt as sexually abused girls, first identify with and later become (through transition/hormones) the all powerful abuser of their (mostly) willing equally disturbed partners.  Some of these dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will even lobby for less strict laws around child/adult sexual relations aka Pedophilia. Aside, many dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will have had at some point/s identified as gay men, most will have been/are FagHags, including having sex with Gay men.
Some of the more mentally damaged STRAIGHTBIANS in this group will even act out (repeatedly) sexual abuses done to them as a child; one partner will role-play being a baby girl while the other partner pretends to be the Daddy who then sexually abuses his/her baby girl. Both parties derive their own warped feelings of power during these bizarre scenes. Power, by being the person holding the safe word which can stop everything on utterance, and the other feeling power/full by taking power over the other and having the power to bring the other to sexual heights/climax/es; exchanges that both parties tightly wrap in a yarn of believed ultimate/superior intimacy and trust. But the intimacy/trust are nothing more than a mutually shared delusion that can quickly unravel at the slightest fray.

As neither party is actually Lesbian, these particular STRAIGHTBIANS fetishize "lesbian sex" (sex between females) through their own Heterosexuality/Het norms. 

Many STRAIGHTBIANS in this group for varying reasons are hypersexual, and sex will figure some way in nearly all aspects of their life. They will join or forge self created careers in some aspect of the sex industry. They may be sex educators/experts, strippers, prostitutes, sex facilitators/consultants, burlesque performers; they may make lesbian porn videos/photo shoots etc. Most of these STRAIGHTBIAN types will have a sexual pathology, but even those where this is absent, because none are Lesbians, ALL have a pathological need/drive to sexualize themselves with a female partner/s. Lesbian to ALL STRAIGHTBIANS must involve another female, but particularly for this type.

Without sex or even the idea of sex between two females, these STRAIGHTBIANS disappear. Therefore, fetishizing lesbian is not only a product of their pathology, its at the root of their self. Like Transgender self-hood, these STRAIGHTBIANS rely on constant external validation/reinforcement, even if that is nothing more than personal photos of themselves/their female partner kissing/touching/sexing etc. Many will exhibit public displays of affection bordering on the sexual, they dont simply want the public to look, they NEED the public to look. They NEED lesbian approval even from strangers, be that at a restaurant while having dinner or on Social Media.

Unlike actual Lesbians (who do not require external validation to tell us who we are), lesbian approval for this STRAIGHTBIAN type isnt approval for being a Lesbian. These STRAIGHTBIANS require approval for behaviour they FEEL to be Lesbian (via their Heterosexuality), feelings they need to strengthen their foothold of THEIR thin grip on Lesbian IDENTITY. This tenuous grip being so fragile, even if they have 1 naysayer among a 1000, they may mentally/emotionally implode! Even demanding validation and/or vilifying naysayers through conferences/sex wars/Social Media battles/books/articles published/tickets sold etc that they ARE Lesbian! As an aside, many of these types will have romantic/sexual photos of themselves around their home with a former/current partner; a daily reminder that these girl on girl visuals MAKE them lesbian

Past Straightbians in this group fancied themselves on being sexual outlaws/sexual renegades, turning sexual mores on their heads; queering lesbian  through stealing Gay male cultural norms/tropes to wet their warped sexual perversions in one hand and lining their pockets through theorizing lesbian as the ultimate subversive act in the other. This Past STRAIGHTBIAN group believed/preached that through the bondage of ropes and chains (het) women could FREE themselves from the shackles of Patriarchy.

Today's version of this STRAIGHTBIAN type merely mimics the straight male's wet dreams lining the shelves of porn hubs everywhere. This STRAIGHTBIAN version preens, prances, pouts and performs lesbian per Patriarchy's fantasies; their lips never speak of Liberation, only licking pussy. This group doesnt even have the mental wherewithal to look beyond what they see everyday: HeteroSEXuality. Somewhere between IQ and the internet, today's STRAIGHTBIANS lazily believe that by performing Het male lesbian cliches for global attention/identity reinforcements that they are subverting social norms! These STRAIGHTBIANS spend less time trying to smash the Patriarchy and more time bending over for it! They tell themselves their sexual displays are personal, but their copious look at us, look at us, look at us cinches their Het female narcissism that is ALWAYS looking for a looker.

But both types, past and present, can only occupy lesbian through male tropes (gay or straight). Meaning even the ways in which they suspend their Heterosexuality, IS Heterosexual!

A look at STRAIGHTBIANS in this group from the past:
A look at STRAIGHTBIANS in this group today:

While this goes without saying, obviously consenting adults (Lesbians) can engage in bed (any) room games that might make some of us blush without their fun being pathologised, by us or anyone. We arent criticizing what anyone does in bed, we are saying that STRAIGHTBIANS have a specific pathology that is discernible to anyone paying attention.

Dirt & Mrs Dirt

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Sex and the STRAIGHTBIAN (Part 1) The Passion Is Political

We are closing this year out with a series of posts we've been asked by many Lesbians to write, and which we feel will be informative for the unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series.
We havent written a great deal on STRAIGHTBIANS and sex, but where mentioned we have focused primarily on RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS whom (for varying reasons) eschew sex with men, and more often than not, eschew sex...period.

If you took a Women's Studies course or such, you will recall the great "lesbian sex wars" back in the late 70's/early 80's, those erring on the side of the anti-sex group consisted primarily of staunch RadFems. Het women who routinely patrolled other women's sexuality/sexual behaviours, quickly ousting dirty RadFems who preferred penetration to pussy licking or the preferable platonic love. But human nature being human nature, there are new generations of Het women who continue to fall into that RadFem anti-sex category. And depending on sexual abuses/temperament/dominant handedness/emotional baggage/education/politics etc a percentage of those Het women will seek out to date/partner with other (mostly Het) females.

These Het women will claim Lesbian, define Lesbian, publish books/articles as Lesbians/about Lesbian issues, and be professionally known as Lesbians, all the while being/thinking/functioning Heterosexual. They may don a short 'do, sport sensible shoes, and own a flannel shirt or two or three, an acceptable "lesbian" outfit that they believe says dont look at me, look at what I do. An outfit defined/created by RadFems before them, serving the same purpose.

These STRAIGHTBIANS usually do not know or associate with actual Lesbians, and when they encounter us, they quickly snub us. They believe they are intellectually superior to Lesbians (they believe they are gifted academics and perceive actual Lesbians to be Blue Collar/beneath them socially/morally/intellectually and therefore dismiss/despise any Dyke who dares to question THEIR hetsplained version of lesbian). These RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS also incorrectly perceive themselves to be ideologically/politically superior/cognizant to actual Lesbians (they CHOSE to be womyn centered and would not dare debase/objectify womyn with sex/sexual thoughts, which they believe is similar to the dreaded Male Gaze holding less fortunate females hostage everywhere).

These types of STRAIGHTBIANS chant, preach and promote the personal IS political, yet their entire political system springs from their own personal damaged pathology. A pathology not just rooted in the Heterosexual, it IS Heterosexual! BUT a Heterosexuality (at least where relations with males are concerned) THEY do not want! Unlike most Het females who naturally feel quite passionate (including romantic sometimes) with Het females in their lives, these STRAIGHTBIANS take these feelings to a whole other level, wrapping their pathology and warped political theories into romance with another female. Because their self proclaimed political reasons for their female romances usually dominate their lesbian relationships, sex usually takes a backseat or worse, the trunk (for you Brits-it gets put in the boot of the car). Attraction for these STRAIGHTBIANS is an attraction to the other person's politics, rather than raw passion itself. The passion is political, not the personal and depending on each Het woman's politics, that joint political may last years, decades or till death. BUT it isnt LESBIAN!

RadFem's past who fit this category (think Dworkin/Rich etc) and who fit it today (think Bindel/Jeffreys) can usually be found bitching/moaning (usually ineffectually) about porn, prostitution, abortion rights and identity politics. Instead of having healthy relationships/friendships with men, since they CHOOSE to be lesbians for the good of Womankind (yeah right), they find other ways of having passionate relationships with men, via fighting with them. In the past these RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS lobbied against pimps, porn moguls and politicians, today these fervent feminist fracases take place all over Social Media, much to the same result as RadFem's past-nought.

For STRAIGHTBIANS like this, sex is sublimated for politics.

Dirt and Mrs Dirt


Friday, December 22, 2017

Lesbian-A Violation of Heterosexual Laws/Codes/Ethics/Policies and Rules

Since Mrs Dirt and I began unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian from the warped clutches of centuries of Hetsplaining, more and more Lesbians are finding their Lesbian voices. Voices speaking to experiences unique to ONLY Lesbians! Voices trying to communicate that uniqueness to each other through Fort Knox walls of Heterocentrism; defining and dominating ALL existences, including our own!

Like Lady MacBeth, Heterosexuals have unsuccessfully out damn spotted Homosexuals in an ongoing effort to rid the world of us/our presence/our legitimacy. I say unsuccessfully not for fear of trying, but because THEY (Hets) keep fucking and producing us! Every Homosexual with an iota of self awareness knows IF Hets ever figure our how to stop Homosexual births, we WILL quickly vanish from this planet. But I digress, for the MOMENT we are here, we are alive and we are our own NORMAL! That however doesnt stop Hets from co-opting/silencing us for their own special purposes.

Speaking Lesbian (yes-Lesbians do speak/communicate different than Hets) is been both a blessing and a curse. Speaking the same language differently allows Lesbians to KNOW they are speaking to a Lesbian, but it also means we are forever misunderstood by Hets (particularly Het females)! And being drowned by wave after wave of Heterocentricity while swimming in a sea of Heterosexuals means Lesbians are taught exclusively ONLY the language of Hets to communicate with. Raising the question, how effectively can Lesbians, even ponder our own existence when the language with which we are using to ponder, is HETEROSEXUAL???? I suspect it is precisely our Lesbian nuances to Heterosexual lingo that have created our Lesbian dialect. A dialect that sounds familiar enough to Hets, but comes in disjointed/strange/alien to them at the same time.

STRAIGHTBIANS however, are understood perfectly, because they are STRAIGHT! They think STRAIGHT. They look STRAIGHT (even when donning the lesbian uniforms THEY made up, designed to eschew femininity-as if). They walk STRAIGHT. They talk STRAIGHT. They write STRAIGHT. So pairing up with another female is incidental to being read/understood by the overwhelmingly dominant Heterosexual world. By being read/understood Het by Hets, STRAIGHTBIANS were/are able to undermine Lesbian at every level, except the most important one, actually/biologically BEING a Lesbian. But regardless, STRAIGHTBIANS communicating with their STRAIGHT brains can communicate/be heard and listened to in ways Lesbians will never stand a chance, they also command numbers that Lesbians cannot compete with.

Lesbian communication is read by STRAIGHTBIANS as weird, strange, or as men. It has long been thought Hets, including STRAIGHTBIANS who called Lesbians men/mannish had to do with how we look, the internet has shown even with no picture present, Lesbians are read/reacted to as men, particularly by Het women. Many of whom myself, Mrs Dirt and others are honestly believed to be men by many STRAIGHTBIANS. We're told things like women dont talk like that, lesbians dont act that way etc. No, WOMEN i.e. Heterosexual females dont talk the way WE (Lesbians) do talk that way! And "lesbians" i.e. STRAIGHTBIANS do not talk the way we talk because they are STRAIGHT!

We Lesbians are accused on social media as being too crass, too brass, too brazen, too direct, too aggressive. We are accused of being abusive, of leveling coordinated attacks (at the same time being written off by STRAIGHTBIANS because we are only a tiny cult of a few people-which is it ladies-there are a shit ton of us or there are a handful???). STRAIGHTBIANS are warning other STRAIGHTBIANS,  (whom they believe to be young lesbians) that we Lesbians are a danger, a scary threat that might influence lesbian STRAIGHTBIAN youth with insane ideas about nature, biology and science!

Across multi global social media platforms, fearful STRAIGHTBIANS are squawking about our blog posts, our Facebook pages, our Tweets, including squawking to social media authorities. Het authorities who believe STRAIGHTBIAN stresses, concerns and flat out lies. Believed, because THEY are understood! Believed, because no matter how THEY ID, they effectively communicate and are read as S T R A G H T! And because Homosexuals, particularly Lesbians, remain the most despised, disdained and HATED humans the HETEROSEXUAL world has ever seen, Lesbians dont just get a raw deal. Lesbians get a slaughter housed blood bath with full blown disembowelment thrown in for shits and giggles!

Case in point, earlier this month during this particular shit show, (which I'm told is still going strong across many different social media areas) because personal photo's of Mrs Dirt and I were being used to slander us (obviously Truth will always get you shit talked and having always spoke Truth I'm well used to it-but you can shit talk without using OUR photos) I requested to Hetcentric Twitter authorities that OUR personal photos, taken by ME, be removed from this Twitter STRAIGHTBIAN's Tweet.

Twitter authorities sent this email to me in response to my request:

Given that I dont know who the fuck was going to see or be able to see my drivers license info or had any verifiable proof Twitter would delete my info once done with it, I was apprehensive about supplying it. BUT I conceded and supplied LEGAL/physical proof the pictures in question were of me/taken by me. What was Twitter's response back?
Umm HUH???? I filed copyright infringement, was requested to prove copyright ownership, proved copyright ownership and nothing???? MY response back:
Some years back, a plan to murder me (involving two trans females who joined forces) was brought to my attention and fortunately thwarted. Since then I am obviously VERY cautious about who has knowledge of my whereabouts. Despite several moves since then I have yet to fill out a change of address through the post office in effort to limit knowledge of where we live. And since then any/all persons who are either a direct threat or I find know where we live, ALL names are given to local authorities in the event harms comes to me/us. And given the work Mrs Dirt has done with missing persons for more than a decade, including assisting in bringing several murderers to justice-Mrs Dirt has had an equal amount of threats/death threats-one threat took a picture of her then dog in her then backyard. All this to say, WE HAVE A SERIOUS NEED TO KNOW WHO HAD ACCESS TO WHERE WE LIVE! What did Twitter say?

My account clearly wasnt/isnt suspended, not even timed out. I took this response to be a BIG WATCH YOUR ASS BITCH CUZ WE DONT TAKE KINDLY TO DYKES LIKE YOU!

Just this week another Lesbian's account was actually timed out for merely Tweeting this:
Lesbians literally are NOT allowed to write/discuss/talk about (except in strict privacy with other Lesbians) what it means to be a Lesbian. Doing so doesnt merely violate Twitter/Social Media rules, it VIOLATES Heterosexuality period! When STRAIGHTBIANS declare we Lesbians are men/are acting like men, what they are really saying is Lesbians VIOLATE Women-i.e. Heterosexual females whom the term Woman is SOLELY based. (Note-meaning an admonition to THEIR Heterosexuality as well) It is no coincidence that Lesbians discussing our Lesbian biology and the experiences we have that spring from our biology are being called RAPE/RAPISH!!!

Explain to me will ya, how does sharing the life experiences Lesbians have as Lesbians equate to a man forcibly shoving his penis into a female's orifice against her will? 

Being a Lesbian isnt an affront to Woman anymore than we're an affront to Heterosexuality, Lesbian simply isnt either of those things. You may find that offensive, frankly I/we dont give a fuck. Lesbian biology WILL continue-for now. And for now I may be banned (wouldnt be the first time) from every Social Media platform in the world, my (our) LESBIAN biology WILL persist. You wanna get rid of me, you will have to kill me. And next time, dont bring a friend, you best bring a fucking army!



Saturday, December 9, 2017

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens Next Series

The next set of Het women we are unSTRAIGHTening for this series are as follows: Rita Mae Brown, Adrienne Cecile Rich, Sheila Jeffreys, Julie Bindel.

Rita Mae Brown is most known for Rubyfruit Jungle, her warped fictional(?) account of consensual familial incest (with male cousin)-PRO-INCEST turned "lesbian" and not the Lesbians who look men and are ugly kinda Lesbians. Rita Mae briefly dallied with the Lesbian separatist group The Furies who Homophobically preached Lesbianism is not a matter of sexual preference, but rather one of political choice (one prefers coffee to tea-Homosexual BIOLOGY isnt a choice!). From there Rita Mae was involved with Lavender Menace-a man hating "radical lesbian" off shoot of NOW. Rita "just me" Mae later dumped Lesbian when it was no longer edgy/profitable and today writes applesauce mysteries lapped up by bored Het women.

Adrienne Rich is best known for her poetry and her later Radical Feminist diatribes, one of which spawned the over used phase by Radical Feminists-Compulsory Heterosexuality. Privileged academic Adrienne (I was stuck fast in an emotion common to women of our time, that can turn them bitter, or Lesbian, or solitary) Rich turned Lesbian some years after her Husband of 17 years, producing three children, committed suicide. But thanks to warped feminist sexism, Robin Morgan didnt view Rich as the Monster she did Ted Hughes. Hmmm...funny that!

Sheila Jeffreys, like all Hets in this group and to quote Julie Bindel "abandon Heterosexuality and her feminine appearance" (hmm still looks Het/feminine) when she found Radical Feminism. Besides teaching, Jeffreys wrote/spoke extensively on other STRAIGHTBIANS whose differently warped sexual proclivities didn't pass Jeffreys frigid muster, mimicking Het dynamics too closely for her tastes. Jeffreys is equally known for speaking/writing against Transgenderism. Not because she is against the medical damage necessary for transition, but again because Transgender mimics Hetero roles too closely, damaging women/women as a class.

Julie Bindel is a RadFem journalist who focuses on Het women's issues; violence against women, prostitution, pornography, human trafficking etc. She briefly came out swinging against Transgender/transition but when confronted by trans males, quickly went back to her Het women interests. She is a huge proponent/promoter of many STRAIGHTBIANS featured in this series and STRAIGHTBIANS in general. She routinely states with full Het privilege and Homophobia intact that Lesbianism is a choice and biology means next to nothing, unless speaking about male violence! THATS different!

We will begin working on this next group asap, probably in the order above, any input is welcome as usual.

Dirt and Mrs Dirt


Monday, December 4, 2017

When Muffy Met Sally-STRAIGHTBIAN Times Deux

Professional poker players are HYPER aware of each of their opponent's tells. Tells being minute near imperceptible clues that give away a player's hand. The more perceptive the poke player, the better able to read their opponent's bluffs or good hand. Tells serve different people, at different times, for different reasons, IF you know what you're looking for.

Like any prey species in nature, Homosexuals are born intact with intrinsic defenses to both protect ourselves from Homophobic Hets AND to successfully find each without getting killed. The Industrial Revolution/modern technology has unfortunately watered down our intrinsic Homosexual gifts. Obviously the work Mrs Dirt and I are doing aimed at helping Lesbians reinvigorate dulled Lesbian senses necessary for survival/partnering continue to stir STRAIGHTBIANS/Het women throughout the world wide web. 
STRAIGHTBIANS everywhere are AFRAID! What if their Lesbian girlfriend unSTRAIGHTens them?! What if the career they have built on Hetsplaining Lesbian is called into question? Or worse, what if their weak core, plastered over with lesbian lesbian lesbian no longer has Lesbian pillars with which to hold it/them up?
Below are more recent examples of STRAIGHTBIAN panic/STRAIGHTBIAN lies, clearly festering for sometime-but rather than simply contact Mrs Dirt or myself to resolve perceived issues, they blow up/over emote/manipulate situations that only occurred in their minds-these are all PRIME examples of Het female thinking/over emotionalism-(but remember Lesbians-Het female over emotionalism is THEIR brain's norm-so for them, it isnt over emotional-but it is to Lesbians)...In no particular order, just pay close attention to my comments within each frame, they will help make sense of the Hetsplaining:

The behaviours above clearly arent Lesbian, (and they most certainly are not FEMINIST) by the very nature of the Lesbian brain, it would be IMPOSSIBLE for a Dyke to act this STRAIGHT even if she tried! Mean girl syndrome isnt a syndrome you will ever find a Lesbian participating in. Lesbians dont block/hide behind closed doors and bitch and moan about others, women or men. A Lesbian, even shy ones, will confront directly using clarity and intelligence. The shortest distance between two points after all IS a straight line!

Lesbian readers, where and when you see/experience situations with females who seem to flip out over seemingly nothing, who claim situations occurred that didnt exist, who dissect other females based on anything physical and whom start/participate with other females in junior high bitch sessions? You are dealing with a Het brained female-no matter what she's labeled herself!

Beware and be safe. STRAIGHTBIANS may have us out numbered, but our unique Lesbian biology is there to protect us. TRUST it!

Dirt and Mrs Dirt


Sunday, December 3, 2017

Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: Part 2: So Many ASSes

As a follow up to our previous post entitled Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: AKA the Seven ASSes, we wanted to follow up with 2 other subtypes of Straightbian, both of whom may likely have significant overlap with some of the previously described 7 subtypes.

Additionally, although this should go without saying, obviously it needs to be said anyway, based on comments we have received:

Of course, some just-plain-straight females (not Straightbian posers claiming to be Lesbian, but straight-up heterosexual females) may share characteristics that fall into one or more of these archetypes. That makes sense, since both just-plain-straight females and Straightbians share a VERY important characteristic: THEY ARE STRAIGHT, but always remember: we are never going to be talking about straight women unless they are impacting upon Lesbians in some way

So, before you comment, "I know a straight female who likes Tarot", please stop and remember that unless she is a STRAIGHTBIAN, we are not talking about her, nor denying her existence. She is simply irrelevant to this topic.
 Without further ado, here are 2 follow-up ASSes to add to our previous Assorted STRAIGHTBIAN Subtypes:

8). White Picket Fence and 2 Children In The Suburbs Straightbian: The White Picket Fence (WPF) Straightbian just wants to fit in, to be "normal" (in the eyes of society), yet still retaining her Straightbian status due to her own pathology.

This Straightbian will say that there is absolutely no difference between herself and her soccer-mom neighbor, except who she is in a relationship with- (and, actually, she is right about that...because they are BOTH STRAIGHT!).

"We're all the same", White Picket Fence loves to say, "Why label people?" Because "Love is Love", after all! "We're all human, why create all of these unnecessary divisions?", WPF thinks, shaking her head.

The White Picket Fence Straightbian loves this cup and carries it everywhere because, gosh darn it, we are all just HUMAN, now aren't we?:

The White Picket Fence Straightbian cares very much about appearances and fitting in with society's expectations.

She is in a relationship with another female (either another White Picket Fence Straightbian or a Lesbian who can pass as Straight) but, by golly, she and her partner are going to FIT IN OR BUST:

House in the suburbs? Check!
Golden Retriever? Check!
Volvo? Check!
Casually rumpled, but subtly elegant, decor? Check!
White wedding? Check!
2 adorable children? Check!
Picture-perfect holidays? Check!
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

On social media, she will call herself something like "just2mommies2kidsand1goldenretriever"; she will follow only others exactly like herself, "eschewing" any real Lesbians who point out that Lesbians are actually different than straight women. So darn divisive!  LOVE IS LOVE, after all...
BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8a). Relatedly, a sub-sub (-sub...?) type of the White Picket Fence is the Sunshine and Roses Straightbian, who is an emotionally-fragile straight female who uses relentless, sugary-sweet positivity to completely escape/avoid dealing with her own issues that have led her to mistakenly believe she is a "Lesbian".

Sunshine and Roses was perhaps physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused as a child; or at least had a chaotic, disturbing home life while growing up. She likely has had very bad previous experiences/relationships with past boyfriend(s)/husband(s).

Sunshine and Roses is desperate to escape not only those bad situations, but also all of the heavy emotional baggage that she carries from those situations.

In fact, she has stuffed that baggage down so far that she actually mistakenly thinks she has left it behind.

On social media and in real life, Sunshine and Roses "eschews" all negativity and strives to keep herself forever insulated from real-world unpleasantness. Her social media posts are likely predominantly inspirational memes and/or cutesy GIFs and/or dreamy "Peace, Love, and Harmony" sentiments, and/or heartbroken laments about "Why is there so much strife in the world?".

Sunshine and Roses may not even attempt to embark upon a relationship, preferring to call herself a "Lesbian" (or possibly "queer" or "LGBTQQIAAP+") without the pesky reality of dealing with another fallible and not-always-positive human being. She lives in a fantasy world, perhaps fantasizing incessantly about an idealized version of a particular singer, actor, book, movie, TV show, author, etc. She may read or even write happy-ending fan fiction to erase the unpleasant reality of how an actual storyline turned out.

Sunshine and Roses is likely to unfollow or block anyone on social media who she perceives to be "negative" or "crass" or "unpleasant" in any way. She surrounds herself with beautiful objects and frantically attempts to create harmony in a world sadly lacking it.

Sunshine and Roses is not a bad person. In fact, she is typically a good person who has been dealt a very bad hand in life. BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8b). The Urban Version of the White Picket Fence (WPF) STRAIGHTBIAN:

Like her suburban counterpart, the Urban WPF Straightbian just wants to fit in, but with a very different crowd.

The Urban WPF doesn't want the actual white picket fence of her suburban counterpart's, of course not, because that would be just too common for Urban.

No, the Urban Straightbian wants something more edgy, more "in":

Renovated loft in an old cigar factory? Check!
Assorted popular/up-and-coming Artists/Actors/Authors/Directors/Designers/Etc. as friends? Check!
Being the cool moms at the most exclusive private school available? Check!
Invitations to the most exclusive events in town? Check!
Season tickets to the local alternative theater? Check!
An amusingly pretentious Chilean chardonnay chilling for the farm-to-table dinner party? Check!
Offspring named Jayden, Ayden, Cayden, or Brayden? Check!
Transgender child? Check! 
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

9). Mean-Spirited Unbalanced Faux-Feminist Yahoo (Muffy):

Muffy often overlaps with many/all of our previous 7 Assorted Straightbian Subtypes. In fact, Muffy has likely at least been all of the subtypes at one point or another.

Muffy loves and uses social media with a vengeance. And "vengeance" is the key word here, because Muffy is one angry, hateful harpy. In fact, in her social media bios, she proudly claims to be a/an "angry, hairy Lesbian", "man-hater", "virago", "shrew", "Patriarchy-smasher", "radical Lesbian", "angry feminist", "Lesbian separatist", "woman-identified-woman" (or womyn or womon or wimmin or wimms...or any other ridiculous misspelling) and/or some similar descriptor.

On the surface, Muffy may seem to be the polar opposite of Sunshine and Roses, but these two subtypes share many common denominators; the difference between them is exposed in how their underlying issues are expressed in opposite ways. Instead of internalizing/repressing her anger/angst (as Sunshine and Roses does), Muffy externalizes her rage, spewing her hatred outward in an incessant vomitous torrent, reminiscent of the pea-soup scene from The Exorcist.

Muffy doesn't just wait for trouble to find her on social media; oh, no, not Muffy. She goes looking for trouble and when she doesn't find it, she creates it, usually by seeking out Trans males minding their own social media business. Muffy will dump a hefty shitpile on a Trans male's social media account, then when said Trans male reacts, Muffy will claim to all who are listening that SHE has been attacked! Muffy will  use these instances to convince her friends, but most importantly convince herself, that men are bad/men are angry/men are violent. Like the Transgenders she claims to hate, she too needs constant reinforcers to prove her own held warped notions of herself as Lesbian.

Like a trigger-happy bounty hunter, Muffy is always on the hunt for people she finds offensive, and when she inevitably finds someone who dares to say something she disagrees with, she tries to blow that person away with her high-caliber nastiness.

In her quest to destroy her perceived enemy/enemies, Muffy completely "eschews" all logic, listening skills, and literacy, opting instead for sheer unadulterated, completely illogical, meanness.

No insult is too low nor off-limits for Muffy. Muffy hits below the belt and is proud of it. Despite claiming to be a "feminist", Muffy regularly insults other females' looks, clothes, hair, makeup (or lack thereof), weight, age, marriage, choices, profession, ideas, words, work, etc., etc., etc. She calls Lesbians "men" without a single thought, nor care, in her venomous, vitriolic, vapid head about the potential effects of her words.

Muffy LOVES using inane memes/GIFs in the heat of battle, apparently not realizing that her memes/GIFs are as lame, illogical, nonsensical, and ineffectual as she herself is. She will then throw at least a few red herrings into the discussion, saying untrue things that make no sense whatsoever, and have nothing to do with the conversation at hand, but are intentionally designed to try to make the opponent(s) look bad and to distract from the fact that Muffy has no coherent argument. (Examples include falsely claiming that the perceived opponent(s) is/are: racist, sexist, misogynist, rape-apologist, perverted, pedophilic, etc.).

Finally, despite having deliberately sought out and started/continued the argument herself, and, despite having said absolutely false, defamatory, and despicable things to her opponent, Muffy then pretends to be the victim in the situation, falsely claiming that the other person is "bullying", or even "stalking", her. And Muffy is not above or below using a fake suicide attempt to garner sympathy and support, thereby completely nullifying any further arguments.

She will then enlist other Muffys to attack, berate, harass, block, defame, exclude, and/or report her perceived opponent(s), while basking in the shallow, brittle "sisterhood" and feel-good-for-a-minute attention afforded from being The Perpetual Victim Of The Patriarchy.
BUT she is not a Lesbian.

Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum.

While some STRAIGHTBIANS are clearly more dangerous to Lesbians in the individual sense, even STRAIGHTBIANS who partner with each other are dangerous to Lesbian as an idea. STRAIGHTBIANS are collectively responsible for taking the flesh-and-blood Lesbian and turning us into nothing more than an IDEA which they, warped Het Woman, flesh out through their own individual pathologies! Pathologies the Psychiatric community, for centuries have documented, diagnosed and demonized. Pathologies accepted by Het society as truth/God's word. Heterosexual Pathologies widely and readily attributed to actual Lesbians, haunting our relationships with family, friends and strangers even, all with long held preconceived IDEAS forged by STRAIGHTBIANS!

But Lesbian isnt an IDEA, we are flesh, blood and bone.

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